Funeral Homes and childhood grief

Posted on November 3, 2016 by MayFuneral under Blog Posts
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Funeral homes and childhood grief

One of the most difficult tasks is to explain to children subjects that even we as adults find it difficult to grasp. Through the years, funeral homes have developed more services in terms of grief counseling to add provided support for families and loved ones. Healing after the loss of those we hold dear can be a time where we forget the confusion and grief of children, partly because we get too caught up in our own. There are certain things to remember when dealing with childhood grief that will help ease the process.

Patience is key

Grief is a complicated affair and children, just like adults can be unpredictable when it comes to grief. The fear, sense of abandonment and anxiety can all lead to odd behavior that is normally uncommon for an individual. For children though, there is the added element of confusion. Some cases may lead to anger, mistrust or a child acting out. Because this is a delicate time in the child’s developmental phase, adults need to take heed and exhibit the most amount of patience possible. Even though it might be difficult to deal with someone else’s grief on top of one’s own personal grief, adults must remain patient and learn to heal together.

Honesty is important

Many times our first instinct is to shelter children from the hardships in life. This however deprives them of the opportunity to confront harsh realities of life in a positive manner. By looking at grief as an opportunity to help them grow, we establish an acceptance and a forward type of thinking. Lies made in order to shelter children diminish trust over time. It also makes the grieving process much longer and does more damage than good. Having an honest approach and confronting feelings of loss, anger and frustration helps them process into healthier adults. Many funeral homes have literature that helps explain the best way to address these issues, particularly with children and young adults.

Individuality in grief

There is no set time limit to how much or how people will grieve. Many people will feel the impact right away, others might take weeks, months or even years. By making children understand that it is “ok” to grieve and feel sad, we better let them express themselves. The grieving process often comes in waves. Sometimes this happens as new realizations are made and the absence of a loved one becomes more noticeable. Funeral homes offer assistance in helping families cope together in a healthy way. It is important to remember that no two people are alike. Helping children understand that it’s ok to process these feelings in a constructive way that fits their needs is important.

Safety among peers

Funeral homes ease the transitionary period by facilitating ways that loved ones can connect. When a child suffers a loss, it often times helps when they are surrounded by loved ones that are going through the same process. Even more so, it helps when there are children their age that are also suffering similar circumstances. By surrounding your child with members of family of their particular age group, they are able to console each other in ways that some adults may not be able to. There is a safety in knowing that you are not alone in going through a particular hardship.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________HT May & Son funeral home has helped families and loved ones through the grieving process for more than a century. We have locations in Columbia, Boonville, Sedalia and serve the Fayette Missouri area. To find out about how to plan aheadcontact us today.

The funeral business that became H.T. May & Son was founded in Boonville in 1911 by Riley Martin; great-great uncle of Tom May. Following the death of Riley Martin, his nephew; Holwell J. May took over the reins of the business and continued to operate it until his death in 1974. After the death of Holwell, his son H.T. May began to run the business. When H.T. died in 2005, son Thomas E. May began to run the business and is now the fourth generation to operate May Funeral Homes. The newest location, in Columbia, opened in April 2009. Thomas, was married in November 19 of 2011 to Pastor Jennifer Baker. Jennifer is a pre-need specialist for the business and currently pursing her funeral directors license. Thomas also has two sisters; Kathryn May who is a licensed funeral director and Melodia Whitmore. Thomas has three children; Holwell J. May II, who graduated from KCKCC with his Mortuary Science Degree, and is now a licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer, Brittany N. May, and Jeremiah Baker. May and staff are are dedicated to serving families from all ethnic backgrounds and religious beliefs in a personalized manner, with knowledgeable, caring, and professional staff.

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